5 Reasons Dice Goblins Make the Best D&D Players
Dice Goblin is a term that has emerged within the Dungeons & Dragons community to describe any player who hoards dice like a dragon hoards gold. For some the term rings like “hoarder” but many wear the title as a badge of honor. If I’m being honest I’m much more of a dice minimalist myself. I like to have my dice in neat rows with only a single set for any game at a time. Call me a D&D neat freak. I was recently thinking about dice goblins and if hoarding dice is really so bad a practice. In so doing I came up with five reasons dice goblins could be viewed as the best players to have in a D&D game.
A banner day for D&D dice goblins
Dice goblins around the multiverse, rejoice! Today you shall be defended by a dice minimalist who is (maybe) converting to a new line of thought. Make sure to read to the end because I want to tell you about an idea for a gift that will surely appease as a contribution to your favorite dice goblin’s hoard (or possibly, your own, if you’re so inclined). Until then here’s the five reasons dice goblins are the best players for a D&D table.
5. Dice goblins know their dice
Sometimes knowing which dice is which can be frustrating. This is especially true for new players. When you’re just breaking into D&D for the first time, seeing all the funny shaped dice and numbers on the page can feel intimidating.
However, when our table is graced with the presence of a dice goblin or two this problem quickly vanishes. For whatever reason I’ve found dice goblins tend to be infinitely better at describing dice and denominations to new players in an accessible way. Something about their love for the shiny click clacks affords them teaching capabilities envied by non-goblin Dungeon Masters everywhere.
What’s more, for all of the dice goblins’ disheveled tendencies they are surprisingly organized. Somehow they always know where that one die is amongst the multicolored pile.
4. Dice goblins can share the wealth
Every DM knows the pain of having the player who’s never prepared. Every player knows the collective groan when someone forgot their dice at home. Everyone except for groups with benevolent local dice goblins!
Dice goblins always have spare dice on hand and if you ask nicely they may just save the table from having to resort to dice passing, which stalls the game and can be a frustrating endeavor.
I’ve known many dice goblins ready to share their wealth with newcomers to the hobby. In fact I remember receiving my first set of dice for free from the benevolent shopkeeper of my own friendly local game shop back in the day. Something about dice goblins lends to earnest generosity — a welcome departure from their namesake’s stereotypes.
Kind of along the same line as the point above but in a different context. Dice goblins are great for spellcasters who do the Big Boom. There’s something oh-so-glorious about the feeling of a handful of dice shaken with manic glee as the wizard readies to cast her fireball’s damage across the table, adding the exorbitant result and devastating the entire battlefield.
Whether you’re the dice goblin rolling from your stack, a needy player who borrowed a handful from your goblin neighbor or the famed dice goblin DM who’s rolling a crap ton of dice there’s an inherent emotional response to a wealth of dice scattering the table with a spell of epic proportions.
2. Luck and dice jail
Maybe you’re not the superstitious sort? That’s fine. But everyone’s had a session or two where they just keep rolling like poop and there’s always the temptation to swap that d20 for a different one. Maybe for luck, maybe to avoid a curse.
If you don’t have an extra d20 you’re SOL but maybe you’re fortunate enough for generous dice goblins across the table to loan you a special d20, one with an epic crit story attached. Wanting to swap out dice for new ones is always a feasible option when you have dice goblins at your table.
1. Easing those gift giving anxieties
I’ll admit, I’m an easy person to shop for but I know people who are not. I’m aware this aspect is more applicable around the holidays, but birthdays are absolutely a thing and one of the things I hate most about gift giving occasions is never knowing what to get someone — especially if they are especially modest or humble or they already own most of what they want.
When it comes to dice goblins you have no such problems because you already know what they like and what they can always use more of! Practically speaking this is universally one of my favorite reasons for dice goblins to have their fervent interest in the shinies — I never have to worry about what to get them and I can always find something in a pinch!
The uninhibited joy on a dice goblin’s face when they see they’ve been given a new set of shinies is just one of the most heartwarming and wholesome things and I just love giving gifts to my dice goblin spouse and friends.
Speaking of gifts for dice goblins, remember how I promised an idea?
It just so happens Nerdarchy has some super high-quality, aircraft grade metal dice available right here on our website. Sure, you can find metal dice lots of places but if you think all metal dice are created equal you’re sorely mistaken, my friend.
Speaking as someone who is never super enthusiastic about dice I was thrilled to receive my set as a gift, but it was just that to me — until I started using them. Other metal dice can be cumbersome with how heavy they are but these are surprisingly lightweight. What’s more you can just feel the quality of these things.
It might seem weird to say but these dice feel very different from other metal dice sets I own and if you’re a fan of what we do here these dice have the added novelty of having the Nerdarchy logo in place of the maximum result on every die! These dice have quickly sorted among my favorites and I use them almost exclusively anymore. They’re just that good quality and if you’re not a dice goblin these dice are durable enough they could quite possibly be the last set of dice you ever need — even perfect for a dice minimalist.
If you’re into it head over to our store to pick up a set for you, and maybe for that dice goblin in your life. But hurry! Supplies are extremely limited. [NERDITOR’S NOTE: We created an exclusive deal for our Patreon supporters for $25 off a set of Nerdarchy Metal Dice. If you’re not already receiving all the benefits our Patreon supporters get and you’re a dice goblin who just wants to add a set of these limited run dice to your collection you could drop us $1 and snag ’em for a net $24 savings. Who knows, maybe you’ll dig all the rewards too!]
What do you think?
Are you a dice goblin? Do you have a favorite story of dice goblins from your D&D experiences? Tell us about your favorite shiny click clacks on Facebook or tweet us @Nerdarchy. Stay nerdy, D&D dice goblins!