Solving Magic: The Gathering’s Anti-Life Equation

February 9, 2022

Oh my gods y’all. If you’re like me and cannot abide facing another Magic: The Gathering opponent whose deck is half cards to gain life and the other half getting +1/+1 counters from them or whatever then take a look at the curated collection of 60 cards I’ve been tinkering with and help me solve the anti-life equation for MTG. I’m packing four copies of Quakebringer, four copies of Roiling Vortex and infinite copies of my loathing for life gain decks. Let’s get into it.

Give life gain a giant middle finger in MTG

Keep in mind the impetus for this deck is 100% sticking to players with any variation of life gain as the focus. Also worth mentioning I play MTG exclusively on the Arena platform and for the purposes of this deck concept it’s Standard at the time of this writing, which is the following sets:

Innistrad: Crimson Vow
Innistrad: Midnight Hunt
Adventures in the Forgotten Realms
Strixhaven
Kaldheim
Zendikar Rising

The two crucial cards in this deck — the only ones in Standard capable of preventing life gain — are from Kaldheim and Zendikar Rising so they’re on the chopping block in the September 2022 rotation. At that point perhaps I’ll revisit this for Historic games where cards like Atarka’s Command, Rampaging Ferocidon and Tibalt, Rakish Instigator wait to join their two silver bullet friends.

Truth be told I’ve been having so much fun playing with Deckna lately and I started messing around with this idea after playing a few matches with other decks of mine and getting hosed by life gain decks. This is not a new scenario for me and I dabbled with Quakebringer back when Kaldheim was new and every so often since then. Since I’ve been sharing my MTG decks here on the site and people seem to enjoy them I figured why not this one too? Plus who knows maybe some of you clever deck builders can give me a few pointers on this one. Just remember — gotta have Quakebringer and Roiling Vortex at the forefront! [NERDITOR’S NOTE: Revisions to this deck after publishing this post adjusted the number of these key cards, which you’ll see reflected below.]

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a kick out of calling it the Anti-Life Equation too, since I’m a big fan of Jack Kirby and the New Gods he created long ago. Especially Mister Miracle and Big Barda or as I like to call them the best superheroes ever.

“Emotional turmoil breaks the dikes of the mind — And releases the flood in which we must fish, Desaad! Perhaps in this very city is the mind which will yield the Anti-Life Equation! The ability to control all free will!” —Darkseid from New Gods Vol.1 Issue No. 2

I like to imagine the floating structure represents life gain decks and the devastating volcano exploding from the center is this deck laying waste to their plans. Mwahahahahaha! [Illustration by Campbell White]

Artifacts

Cosmos Elixir (3). This makes up for early game life loss and that’s pretty much it. I included this card near the end of my deck building process based on the rarity and frequency I see it used in a variety of deck types. So far in my matches it either hits the board and makes a significant difference for me in a positive direction or it never comes out.
Skyclave Relic (1). When I got to the point of my deck building where Cosmos Elixir made the cut since I only had three copies I poked around for another artifact of similar cost. This one gives you a mana bump or later on a really big mana bump.

Creatures

Quakebringer (3). Basically the fulcrum upon which the deck hinges. It’s especially fun against a deck that makes me discard it or otherwise put it in the graveyard perhaps even in multiples. But if you get one on the board for a round or two it puts the hurt on opponents — and their stupid life gain too! (Originally there were four copies of this but after lots of playing I removed one copy.)
Aegar, the Freezing Flame (4). The lowest cost Giant creature aside from the next one, which has a caveat attached. Keeping Aegar on the board with a Quakebringer in the graveyard is sweet justice. One quirk I’ve noticed is when Giants with Trample attack (like our next creature) Arena lets you choose how much damage applies to a blocker and how much breaks through so it’s wise to uptick the former by one to trigger Aegar’s card drawing effect.
Shatterskull Charger (4). It’s a Giant, it’s low cost and it hits hard. Plus it’s got Kicker to hit even harder. I do feel a bit of glee when blue decks use things like Unsummon on a non-kicked casting. Sure, they don’t do their damage but if something’s gotta get bounced I’d rather they waste the card on this than my beloved Quakebringer.

Enchantments

Roiling Vortex (2). Quakebringer’s companion this one does spread it’s damage around every turn — including your own. Cosmos Elixir mitigates this and I can’t express the joy I feel when an opponent casts another angel thinking their army of creatures are each going to gain them one life and they get zip, zilch, nada. Plus if a deck happens to bust out tricks like casting spells without spending mana they’re in for some pain. It’s extra sweet because this is a weird card without much play at all so I feel like a lot of people don’t pay close attention to all the effects it generates. (Originally there were four copies of this but after lots of playing I removed two copies.)

Sorceries

Environmental Sciences (3). Like Cosmos Elixir this helps mitigate early game pummeling with some life gain of your own. I love this card in any deck because it grabs a resource you’ll always need and thins your deck, which increases the odds of drawing the careds you want. (Originally there were four copies of this but after lots of playing I removed one copy.)
Thundering Rebuke (2). There’s so many red spells to deal damage of both instant and sorcery varieties. Many of them provide additional effects too. I tinker with this aspect of the deck quite often and lately I’ve enjoyed the heavy damage for a such a low cost on this one. (Originally there were four copies of this but after lots of playing I removed two copies.)
Expressive Iteration (2). This was a late addition to the deck towards the end of my deck building process. I chose it because I see people play it all the time and figure it must be quite good. And indeed it is! I’m glad I noticed the usual play of casting the card before you play a land for the turn so if one of the three cards you draw is a land you can exile that one and play it right away. (Originally there were four copies of this but after lots of playing I removed two copies.)

Instants

Light Up the Night (2). When I came across this one I had to read it a couple of times to convince myself it really does what it does. I don’t have any planeswalkers in this deck so the Flashback is irrelevant to me but it’s spectacular for taking out opponent’s planeswalkers (and creatures too!).
Prismari Command (2). I do love cards with multiple options! This was shuffled in during a revision for a couple of reasons. It’s an instant, which I realized was sorely lacking in the original deck list. And the variety of effects covers a lot of ground too. If I’m honest I didn’t have any copies of this one to begin with and when I got it in a pack I thought it looks terrific for this deck — and it is!
Play with Fire (4). I really dig this card, which accomplishes quite a bit for a single red mana. It can take out a pesky weenie creature, of which there are many, or hit the opponent and net you a Scry 1 on top.
Abrade (2). Another versatile instant this time hitting for a respectable 3 damage against a creature or destroying an artifact. There’s a ridiculous number of artifacts in the newest Kamigawa: Neon Dynasty expansion plus plenty of old favorites ripe for abrasion.

Planeswalkers

Chandra, Dressed to Kill (2). Normally I do not like planeswalkers at all — playing with them or against them. But once in a while I come across one I cotton to for a particular deck and that’s the case here. This iteration of Chandra has some nifty abilities in line with the rest of this deck. Direct damage while generating one red mana is fantastic and exiling your top card in order to play it (if it’s red) has been useful for me too. The big ability does some wonky stuff where exile some cards from your deck and if they’re red you can cast them, and when you do the amount of mana spent to cast that spell becomes damage against a target of your choice. I’ve never used this last one because I haven’t had any reason. By this time there’s a Light Up the Night in exile, which is usually more than sufficient for the killing blow on the opponent..

Lands

Mountain (12). Nothing fancy here, just good old red mana producing Basic Lands.
Island (6). Like Mountains except producing blue mana.
Riverglide Pathway (4). I like these dual lands because they don’t come with any drawbacks when they come into play.
Frostboil Snarl (2). Like Riverglide Pathway these help so much with mana balance and they’re easy enough to avoid coming into play tapped if you hang onto another land for such circumstance. You could also cast Environmental Sciences to get a mountain or island before you play this land.

Update: This post was revised on Feb. 16, 2022 to reflect changes in the original deck list

*Featured image — I like to imagine the Quakebringer from Magic: The Gathering’s fantastic Kaldheim expansion stomping across the planes to squeeze all life from the ridiculously over-supported life gain decks and whatever army of angels and white weenies they’ve assembled. [Art by Lucas Graciano]