Odd NPC Vendors for Your Magical World: Fuzzlewick’s Bottled Whimsy
Meet the Proprietor: Fuzzlewick Tinglejar 
Fuzzlewick Tinglejar is a wiry, pale-skinned gnome with a pointy chin, spectacles that always seem slightly askew, and a coat full of mismatched pockets. Each pocket rattles, glows, or giggles when touched. He speaks in quick bursts, rarely looking in the same direction twice, and insists he is “a licensed whimsy engineer” (no such title exists). Fuzzlewick has no connection to Tibbernick or does he.
His shop is a cramped, candlelit labyrinth of crooked shelves stacked with bottles, jars, flasks, and stoppered gourds — each containing something strange: glowing mists, buzzing motes, dancing shadows, even faint melodies swirling inside glass.
“Bottle a moment, a mood, a miracle! I’ve got the right nonsense for the right problem.”
What’s Really Going On?
Fuzzlewick is a chaotic-aligned alchemical tinkerer who bottles emotional energies, elemental oddities, and stray bits of wild magic. He doesn’t fully understand the long-term effects of what he sells, but insists everything is “mostly harmless.”
In truth, his products are unpredictable, and the effects might be beneficial, bizarre, or inconvenient depending on the roll of fate (and how mischievous the DM feels). Many of his wares come from pocket trips into the Feywild, odd alchemical accidents, or bargains with talking puddles.
Fuzzlewick’s Bottled Curiosities
| Item Name | Cost (gp) | Effect / Quirk | Odd Requirement to Purchase |
|---|---|---|---|
| Laughing Smoke | 15 | Releases a 10ft cloud that causes uncontrollable giggling | Must tell Fuzzlewick a joke he hasn’t heard |
| Pocket Rainstorm | 30 | A palm-sized cloud rains on a single target for 1d4 minutes | Bring him a “sad” pebble (looks sad to him) |
| Bottled Courage | 50 | Grants advantage on next saving throw vs. fear, but makes you sing loudly | Share an embarrassing childhood story |
| Captured Applause | 20 | When opened, thunderous clapping fills the room for 30 seconds | Give Fuzzlewick a dramatic bow |
| Mischief in a Jar | 75 | Releases a mischievous fey spirit that causes harmless pranks for 1 hour | Swap one of your buttons for his |
| Tiny Aurora | 40 | Creates 5 minutes of swirling, colorful lights in a 15ft radius | Teach him a new dance move |
| Snore Dust | 25 | Sprinkled on target, induces magical drowsiness (DC 12 Con save) | Whisper your favorite bedtime story to it |
| Bottled Compliment | 10 | A disembodied voice says something extremely flattering | Pay in compliments, not coin (3 total) |
| Contained Chaos | 100 | Roll on Wild Magic Surge table when released | Must sign a “magical liability waiver” |
| Moment of Silence | 35 | Creates an area of magical quiet for 1 minute | Remain completely silent while paying |
| Trapped Moonbeam | 60 | Once released, a 5ft column of moonlight appears for 30 seconds | Bring him something that glows naturally |
| Happy Accident | 50 | DM decides something oddly beneficial happens… somehow | Agree to tell Fuzzlewick what happens later |
Using Fuzzlewick in Your Campaign 
For Players:
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Buy something purely for the chaos factor.
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Use bottles to solve problems in unintended ways.
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Collect oddities for him in exchange for free samples.
For DMs:
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Let effects vary wildly — beneficial, hilarious, or both.
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Use him to inject lighthearted unpredictability.
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Have a rival “whimsy vendor” across town, leading to petty magical prank wars.
Adventure Hooks:
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Theft of the Whimsy: A rival stole a jar labeled “DO NOT OPEN” — players must retrieve it before reality gets… bendy.
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Fey Debt: Fuzzlewick accidentally sold bottled royalty from the Feywild, and the court is furious.
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The Vanishing Shelf: One of his shelves teleported into a noble’s bedroom in the middle of the night — and is still functioning as a portal to the shop.
Thanks for reading. Until Next Time, Stay Nerdy!!
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