Speak With Dead #04: My Int Mod Brings All the Ghouls to the Yard
Dear Maxillae the Mad, [caption id="attachment_22881" align="alignright" width="446"] A ghast, as seen in the fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual. [Image courtesy Wizards of the Coast][/caption]The last adventurers that came through my family’s home took everything of value. Now no more adventurers will come, and...
Speak With Dead #03: The Nature of Evil
Dear Maxillae the Mad,
My druid circle disagrees with my use of undead in the line of duty. Death is just as much a part of nature as life, and I only raise those whose spirits I have communicated with and that have consented to helping me. How can I make the others see that I am not evil just because my practices are unconventional?
Signed,
Deerly-Departed
Dear Departed,
As a practicing necromancer, I do some pretty evil things and I’m all right with that. So believe me when I say, I wouldn’t be judging you if what you were doing was evil, but if the spirits are all right with it, I don’t see how it qualifies. People just get really iffy about dead things walking around for some reason.
The thing is, if they’re bound and determined to think what you’re doing is bad, they’re going to think so no matter how you frame it. And all of the spells designed to detect that sort of thing are currently calibrated to both by default.
Unfortunately, there is no way for you to prove your goodness. The people around you don’t trust you, plain and simple. In that case, you need to decide what means more to you: the ability to be yourself, or the seeming respect of those around you. I know which I would pick if it were me. Respecting you on the conditions of your being someone you are not is in no way real respect.
Regards,
Maxillae the Mad
Speak With Dead #02: NecRomantic Questions
Dear Maxillae the Mad,
While trudging through an ancient tomb the other day, I became cursed. Now I only find myself attracted to zombies, ghosts, and, most strangely, skeletons. Should I tell my cleric about this or just wait for it to clear up?
Signed,
Lust-For-Unlife
Speak With Dead #01: Brain Food
Dear Maxillae,
What is the best way to avoid the whole issue regarding my friend? We were going out for a while, but she is unfortunately an alchemist who shed her mortal coil. I still want to keep things going, but I just don’t know if I can deal with her hunger for brains anymore, or if I should just become a lich to be with her.
-Grant
Speak With Dead #00: Raising Questions
Salutations nerds! I’ve got an idea I think we’re all going to have a lot of fun with, but I’m going to need your help to make it happen. The idea is to do an advice column like “Dear Abby,” but from the point of view of a necromancer, and more for entertainment than for actual advice.
