Weave This Beardomancy Wizard and Her Magnificent Magic Items into Your 5E D&D Game

Did you know Nerdarchy created an entirely new school of magic for the fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons? It’s called the School of Beardomancy and it’s absolutely fabulous. The supple spells of the beardomancy school are sure to harry any foe you encounter. Okay, okay, I’ll try to pull the puns back (but just a hair). If you want to see the School of Beardomancy in full swing check out Untraditionally Arcane where Ordo Wonderbeard entangles himself with some HAIRrowing encounters courtesy of Jake from Mini Terrain Domain.

Honestly, the School of Beardomancy is exactly the kind of thing you include in your game for some levity. It hearkens to the wacky magical hijinks of characters like the Harpell family of the Forgotten Realms, Rinzwind from the Color of Magic and other comically themed spellcasters. Nerdarchist Ted has even talked about one of his characters who used beardomancy as an elf wizard! It was kind of great. Also hilarious. Seeing as I’m all about that comedy and fantasy life I came up with an NPC for your 5E D&D games!

Bubbly Beardomancy by Wilhelmina Corrina Fitzgerald III

An eccentric wizard who lives under the distant mountains, Wilhelmina Corrina Fitzgerald III is considered by many beardomancers to be a mad genius. A dwarf excelling with artifice as well as mystic arts, Wilhelmina Fitzgerald loves crafting magic items incorporating her beloved beardomancy.

Renowned for her questionable taste and opulent sense of fashion, Wilhelmina weaves her spellbook’s pages from tapestries of her own hair. She wears fancy dresses with an abundance of jewelry and has no fewer than twelve jeweled clasps holding the shape of her immaculately coiffed beard in place. [NERDITOR’S NOTE: Bonus points if Wilhelmina’s spellbook is crafted in the secret Beardic language too!]

If the characters get on Wilhelmina’s good side — possibly by running a few errands of questionable safety — she may reward them with one of her personally crafted magic items.

Wilhelmina uses the archmage stat block as a chaotic good hill dwarf but with the following adjustments:

• She speaks Dwarvish, Gnomish and Giant
• She adds +5 to her armor class due to wearing the Dwarven Robes of Exquisite Taste
• She can cast any Beardomancy school spell using her spell slots

Bowstring of Beardomancy

Wondrous item, rare

This bowstring can be applied to any bow or crossbow. A weapon with this bowstring attached gains the following properties:

• The weapon is a magical weapon (if it was not already)
• The weapon’s string cannot break unless cut by Wilhelmina’s Snippety Scissors
• The weapon no longer imposes disadvantage when firing at long range
• The weapon possesses a command word, usually “something bubbly and fun to say,” as Wilhelmina puts it. When you speak the command word (no action required) the bowstring grows outward and attaches to the bolt or arrow loaded within. When the ammunition is fired, the hair stretches ad infinitum until the ammunition hits the ground or impacts a solid surface. When this happens you may speak the command word again to cause the hair connected to the ammunition to anchor onto the surface, provided there is purchase. The anchor remains until you speak the command word again. The hair tether itself supports up to 2,000 lbs.

Dwarven Robes of Exquisite Taste

Wondrous item, legendary (requires attunement)

These finely tailored robes alter themselves to your fashion combined with current trends. The robes have a literal mind of their own and offer you mental prompts for manners and poise. If you are incapable of growing a beard you can choose to grow an immaculate beard of exceptional thickness and sheen as an action.

The robes alter of their own volition to accommodate changes in environment, color and other features to grant you the optimum comfort. While wearing the robes you can add your spellcasting ability score modifier to your AC.

In addition while you wear the robes you add all beardomancy school spells to the list of spells you can prepare at the beginning of each day. If you do not prepare spells instead you add Rapunzel’s Curse to your list of known spells. This spell does not count against the number of spells you know. You can cast Rapunzel’s Curse a number of times per day equal to your proficiency bonus without expending a spell slot.

Wilhelmina’s Snippety Scissors

Wondrous item, rare

These golden scissors are inlaid with jeweled imagery of the latest hairstyles. These shears can cut through any material less than 1 inch thick like a hot knife through butter. As an action you can cut a single strand of a creature’s hair and magically alter its hairstyle, including length, shape, hold, color and it can even cause hair to grow on a bald surface with a simple tap.

Fall in love with Beardomancy for 5E D&D

Has a fondness for beardomancy taken root in your heart? We love created new material like this and our forays into the Beard Dimension have brought back lots of magic and secrets. Here’s a rundown of the hairable content we’ve made for 5E D&D and remember — when you sign up for Nerdarchy the Newsletter you’ll receive several benefits and free gifts including $9.99 in store credit so you can add volume to your collection of beardomantic material. Also worth noting our products begin their life as monthly rewards for our awesome Patreon supporters. Folks who support us at the $2 Loot the Dungeon tier get a new 15-30 page PDF of Fifth Edition material, illustrated and full color and ready to drop right in your game every month. Since we publish rewards directly on the Patreon page new supporters can scroll through posts and discover dozens of titles immediately available! Check it out here.

• Beardomancy — the original title where it all began!
• Hairable Ideas
• Bad Hair Day
• Entangle Your 5E D&D Characters with New Beardomantic Feats
• Hairable Terrain — A Beardomantic Encounter for 5E D&D
• Play Your Next 5E D&D Game as a Pride Warrior Leonin
• Taking Chances — featuring a dwelf beardomancer of renown
• Beardomancy Bundle 5E — a perfect opportunity to use your DriveThruRPG credit!

*Featured image — Rapuzel’s Curse is powerful magic that allows the caster to control the beardomantic energy in an area to blind, deafen and slow down enemies.