Nubz Knows Chapter 11: Aligning with Character Alignment part 6: Chaotic Neutral
This will be the sixth part in a nine part series where I get to interview characters of the various alignments in Dungeons and Dragons and Pathfinder.
This should give insight and illustrate the richness that can be found in each character alignment in an organic way.
“Greetings and salutations loyal Nerdarchy readers, fresh from my dunk in the ALS ice bucket challenge, I decided a warm drink would warm my soul.
Thus I decided to enter the iconic Red Dragon Inn to search for my next interview target. Low and behold I have a prime example of chaotic neutral character alignment right when I enter the door.
Namely in the halfling stealing the hearts of the patron’s and a decent bit of coin too.”, I state with a smile and motioning toward the halfling that is currently dancing on top of the bar while singing the final bits of a rather chipper shanty.
As the halfling hops down and to sit on a bar stool taller then he, I sit down and motion to buy a drink for the bard as I ask, “Mind if I have a moment of your time?”
Grabbing the mug in two hands that others hold with a few fingers he answers as if to the beer itself, “A moment, a minute, a meter or a
mile… Keep the ale coming and I will speak for awhile.”
“So tell me about yourself then good sir.” I ask before taking a sip of my drink.
Looking over the rim of his tankard, he answers with excitement, “I am a travela’, a man who can ne’er stay in one place, yet can’t help but leavin’ a bit of myself behind with every place I go.
Then again e’erywhere I go leaves a bit of i’self in my heart. The world is my oyster my friend and I mean to pluck the pearl of it.”
Holding back a chuckle at the grandiose attitude of this man boasting the virtues of his alignment so poignantly, I continue, “Sounds like you value freedom above all else.”
With a vigorous nod and a pumped fist the chaotic child sized furry footed man exclaims, “To right! You really called it. A rollin’ stone gather’s no moss you know? Freedom is my right an’ my goal. Course I wants what any man wants, I jus’ gets it an’way I can.”
“Excellent, let freedom ring, but do you care about the the fate of the world… such as the recent demon wars?” I ask the halfling directly.
“Why shoul’ I care if I sing for demon, angel or man? Long as I have wine, wealth, and women I care not who I perform for,” With that he nod’s and begins chugging his drink.
“Speaking of wealth, how did you find yourself singing for your keep in such a bar as this?” I ask with a subtle motion to the patchwork clothing the small man was attired in.
With an embellished wipe of the drink’s foam from his lip the bard opens, “Well that is a fun story, you see I was once rich and famous, I know, it is hard to believe but it is true. I sang for king and lady alike. It is in the latter that my troubles began. See back in the days when knights were bold and women weren’t particular, I found myself in company of an elven maid who found me quite the thriller. “
Raising an eyebrow in disbelief at the two and a half foot tall singer’s large claims, “An elven maiden… who traveled in rich circles… right… well… go on.”
Taken aback by my disbelief he asserts, “Oh yes, I stole her heart loyal and true. Even said she’d be mine and wed, course that was just a ploy to try to get her in my bed.”
Chuckling at the little chaotic man’s swagger, “Oh that must have ended poorly to land you here. I’m guessing a chaotic man like you meant no harm but could not be tied down.”
With a spin on his stool, the halfling proclaims boldly, “Oh I do the tying my boy but this lady would have none of it. Pure as the lord of light ‘isself she was. She wanted the family ‘n kids, even a house to settle down in. So I gets in right with her pa, right ol bugger he was, and I asks him about ‘is family ‘n the ‘ole nine yards.”
Smiling at memories of my own in laws I motion for him to continue as I order another round.
Taking the offered stein, the little Lothario continues, “Ya well, little ‘id I know sh’ was loaded. Like a dragons hoard it was, piled as high as ten trolls it was. “
“Ten trolls huh? Then how are you broke and in such bad straights then?” I ask as I retake my seat next to him.
“Oh ho! That there is the bit of the witch’s tits ain’t it. I done made my plan, gots me gold and ran like the dark one himself wanted me for bed and bride.” He replied with am impish grin. “Got all the way to the coast before I stopped to count me wages.”
“And???!!!” I ask excitedly biting into the man’s story, temporarily forgetting to ask more on his alignment.
“Bloody ‘ell, damn ‘ll elves! The buggers enchanted bits of wood. I stole wood. Not even alot of it.” He shakes his head as he continues, “Gave it all up for a sack of wood. Wouldn’t ya know it? I end up in a ditch and she ‘nds up more famous ‘en ‘er dad she did. “
Tilting my head and furrowing my brow, “Oh? Have I heard of her? What is she famous for?”
Nodding his head as he purses his lips he answers, “I was engaged to the…”
As if on cue, the front door opens and a familiar golden haired elven priestess in armor steps in wielding a large mace. Seeing the halfling and I sitting together, “I should have known! I will send you both back to that Re’Dar he worships!”
Finishing my beer and jumping through the window into and alley I exclaim, “This is Nerdarchist Nubz reminding you to role with it!”