Nubz Knows Chapter 10: Aligning With Character Alignment past 5: True Neutral
This will be the fifth part in a nine part series where I get to interview characters of the various alignments in Dungeons and Dragons and Pathfinder.
This should give insight and illustrate the richness that can be found in each character alignment in an organic way.
To this end, I have chosen out nine NPC’s from campaigns I have written and went across the dimensional borders to speak to these characters face to face in their natural element.
Walking boldly into the royal graveyard, I look around slowly scanning the headstones near by. As per tradition in a land under siege by demons and the undead, they mark the stones with a notation of how the person passed just in case they were to rise they would know how to deal with the undead former loved one.
Peter death by horse trample, Kenneth dead by Tarrasque, Steve the barbarian dead by white gazebo. To find a person of true neutrality, I had to search far and wide, but there is nothing so neutral as death. So who better to speak on death then Boedah the gravedigger. Seeing my target, I walk along the path toward the grave digger of this morbid field.
Raising my hand I call out to the very large bald man, “Greetings and salutations on behalf of the Nerdarchy readers, I am Nubz. Would you mind answering a few questions for us?”
Rocking a bit in place, the man does not even turn as he speaks, his dark thick beard nearly hiding his mouth as he speaks in a voice that seems ripe with insanity as he practically sings his reply, “Dead dead dead, I lay them down in the bed and plant a flower on their head…”
Blinking before shaking my head, “Excuse… me?”
Turning sharply, his face mere inches from mine as he is now yelling at me with vacant eyes, “Good, bad or not they stays where I sticks ’em or I stabs ’em!”
Taking a step back while grimacing at the smell of his rancid breath, “So you treat everyone with a fair and even keel? That is a sign of good character.”
Standing up to his full towering height and speaking with pride similar to a knight singing his triumphs and lineage, “Bash and smash, all are trash. Keep em down in the ground!”
I nod finding some sense in this simple man’s words, “You do your job but do it your way. That works for me. “
The giant leans in again and places a large smelly finger upon my lips, his voice a roaring whisper, “No talks when dead walks. Lift and sift those adrift.”
“I am not sure I follow completely, but did you just say you help anyone regardless of who they are?” I ask in a sincerely perplexed tone.
My nose wrinkled at the overwhelming odor of the man even though I am impressed with how neutral this man is about everything.
Boedah nods curtly, “or smash and bash til dead and laying in da bed.” Kneeling down and poking at a grave he continues in a somber melodic tone, “Down, down, down, everyone from town…”
Patting the large man on the back, “I get it, you can march to the beat of your own drum, but the path of an individual is a lonely one. I guess the true neutral aligned stance is to be exactly who you want to be, never to much of one thing, and just go with the flow. That is noble my friend, noble indeed.”
He looks at me with a smile like a child who has been given the news it is play time, “Friend? Friend til the end!”
“Yes, I will be your friend.” I say with a smile of my own for making another person happy though taking a cautious step back.
Picking me up in this character’s massive arms the large man carries me toward the crypt near by, “Friend til the end!”
“Umm… what end?” I gasp out struggling to breath. Disappearing into the darkness of the crypt marked for the royal family and most recently the prince, “This is Nigel ‘Nubz’ Sanford for Nerdarchy reminding you all to role with it!”
As if an answer the simple man’s voice can be heard, “Friend to the end… Friend til the very end…”