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DMing a Killer Romance Arc in D&D

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Let players steer the ship! Trials and triumphs of a full-time nerd in a part-time world

Bringing romance to D&D

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and with all this pink and red plastered everywhere, and all of these teddy bears crowding the shelves at every store, it’s no wonder I’ve got romance on the brain. It’s enough to make a person want to barf. But in honor of the holiday, I’m going to take a moment to talk about romance subplots at the gaming table.

Of course, as always, this isn’t for everyone, and will not fit every tabletop situation. Sometimes, trying to RP romance with a platonic friend in a crowded room full of other platonic friends is just plain awkward. Some groups aren’t going to want anything to do with it. Some of us are just here to get stabby. And that’s okay. This advice is not for those people.

English: Romance icon

Like any other narrative tool, the power of a good romantic arc comes from knowing when and where it is appropriate to use it. Allow me to give some examples:

If a PC in your campaign organically starts to become attracted to an NPC and initiates the romance, it’s probably appropriate as long as you are careful to spread some spotlight to the other players, too.

If you are DMing a solo game for one player and that one player wants to have a romantic arc in their game, it’s appropriate.

If you happen to be playing the kind of game where all of the players are interested in romance (don’t laugh, I actually have been in a few), then it’s appropriate.

It’s also worth noting that some of this advice is good for general companion quests as well, so it may not be a total waste of time even if you aren’t into the idea of running a strictly romantic arc. So, without further ado, let’s get some cooties.

Basic DM rules for romance

rogueFirst of all, implication is your best friend in a tabletop with multiple people. If one of your PCs is interested in wooing one of the NPCs, flirtatious banter is an excellent way to get the fire started. A couple of games ago, our party rogue was the master of a local thieves guild and found himself romantically interested in one of the elven assassins he worked with. They were, for a long time, always incredibly sarcastic with each other.

And then he started bringing her little trinkets and asking her to do things like cut his hair—and she wasn’t saying no. She started asking him every time he’d leave to be careful and make sure he came back in one piece. The other players weren’t stupid, they could see what was going on between them, but there was no awkward because it never crossed the line into anything overly explicit.

Second of all, and before you do anything, you want to make sure your players are down with it first. There’s nothing worse than trying to force a character relationship down a disinterested player’s throat. Indicate that the interest is there (a blush, a stammer, something clear but not over the line — or just tell them out of character and see if it’s something they would want to pursue) and then let the PC take it from that point. If they don’t, that’s okay. They aren’t obligated to be interested in romance at the gaming table.

Third, conflict is still the life blood of the role play. Even in a romance arc. Read any article you can find about writing romance and I bet it will tell you: one of the major chunks of the formula is that there should be something keeping the lovers apart. When there’s a barrier between them, something to be overcome, it makes the whole thing so much more worthwhile.

Most PCs have something in their background you can use for this. Nobles generally frown upon it when their sons and daughters go off gallivanting with commoners. If the PC owes a lot of debt to a ruthless crime lord, the syndicate might decide to take it out on their loved ones if they aren’t careful enough to cover their tracks. Players put this stuff in their backgrounds because they want you to abuse it and single them out. And if there isn’t anything on the PC’s end to play up, it’s easy to slip something in on the NPC’s side.

D&DMake it something substantial, like the NPC having sold their soul to a devil years ago. Maybe she’s bound to an arranged marriage she wants no part of, but her lawful nature won’t let her back out unless something changes. Maybe he’s been secretly working for the villain this whole time. Maybe she’s a sorceress and every time she starts to feel extreme emotions like love, she has a wild magic surge (as long as you don’t let this get out of hand). Whatever it is, make it something you can turn into a quest for the PCs.

Press this button once and then do not do it again. Romantic drama is the kind of thing you want to overcome and then never have to look back. After your big companion quest, let them be happily ever after. You have tons of things you can use to create drama for your PCs without them feeling like they are being punished for their character falling in love.

Fourth, remember that the PCs are the PCs, and by nature of that are the ones who get to save the day. This one can be tricky. You don’t want to fall into the “princess in the tower” cliché. You might be awkwardly aware that people are paying attention to how you portray your female NPCs, and want them to be able to take care of themselves.

Let me tell you, with absolute certainty, that if you are worried about that sort of thing, there are ways to set your PC up to rescue their love interest without making the NPC look weak in the process. The example I have is of a male NPC and a female PC, but the basic logic behind it still applies: I will never forget one of the later sessions of a solo game my fiancé ran for me, when the drow spymaster my bard was involved with had been dragged back into the underdark because his mother was trying to curry favor with Lolth. My bard immediately went charging into the underdark to rescue her man. It was an emotional and knee-jerk decision. She didn’t prepare as much as she should have. It was a complete mess, but eventually they both made it back to the surface. And then, while they were still recovering and nursing their wounds, his mother and a party of drow raiders came after them and the dinky mountain town they were taking shelter in.

By this point I was not only okay with listening to my fiancé describe the fight between the spymaster NPC and his crazy priestess mom, I was totally captivated and cheering him on while the villagers and I kept the rest of the raiding party off his back. It is okay for your NPC to get the final blow on their own arc villain. All of that being good and playing the role to his part until that point gave him wiggle room to close down his companion quest with a bang.

In the end, that last part wasn’t my fight. But it certainly was all the way up until that point. Make sure your PCs know they were the one responsible for getting your NPC where they needed to be to turn it around and kick some serious tail.

On the other side of this, though, you need to remember that while it’s okay for your PC to have to rescue your NPC, it is highly inadvisable for you to even attempt to bowl your PC over and make it into a situation where your NPC has to go save them. This is the line between PCs and NPCs and it is there for a reason. The player character is the hero. People play this game to feel powerful, not helpless. So while it’s okay for you to set it up for your PC to rescue their NPC lover, be seriously careful about the reverse. Nobody gets into this game so they can be a damsel in distress, and if you get a PC abducted you’d best be giving them a fair chance to rescue themselves.

It doesn’t sound fair, but that’s because it’s not. PCs and NPCs are not on an even playing field narrativly speaking. That’s how it should be. The primary concern should be making sure the flesh-and-blood players at your table get what they need out of the arc. If you can do that, and then have a little spare time to worry about how your NPC is coming off, great, as long as it isn’t at the expense of your player’s fun.

Fifth and finally, remember that not every romance needs to be an arc. This advice was for romantic story lines, but sometimes it’s okay just to let it play out casually in the background while more important things go on. If it isn’t that kind of campaign, or the PC that happens to be in a romance has already gotten enough spotlight, there’s nothing wrong with that. Chances are you know your players well enough to know if they’re on board with something like this.

romance

The most important thing is to stick to what you and your players are comfortable with, and treat it like any other kind of story arc. Maybe it’s centered around one particular PC, but if you do make a big deal out of it, the drama should be accessible to the whole table. Besides, what party wouldn’t go into a dungeon with one of their true companions to save their loved one after they’ve travelled together long enough? Or maybe they’d rather sneak into a castle to find or fabricate some evidence that his betrothed isn’t who she says she is to free him from his prior obligations? What if your PCs would rather fancy a cloak and dagger operation to sneak into the thieves guild and alter some documents to clear the NPC’s debt? Or even just assassinate the NPC responsible for all the trouble?

At the end of the day, this romance isn’t any more outrageous than going into a dungeon for the fighter specifically because he heard it on good authority there’s a magic sword in there. Your players will follow your lead on this, and it won’t be awkward if you don’t let it be. If you don’t flinch, neither will they. Good luck and have fun!

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Robin Miller

Speculative fiction writer and part-time Dungeon Master Robin Miller lives in southern Ohio where they keep mostly nocturnal hours and enjoys life’s quiet moments. They have a deep love for occult things, antiques, herbalism, big floppy hats and the wonders of the small world (such as insects and arachnids), and they are happy to be owned by the beloved ghost of a black cat. Their fiction, such as The Chronicles of Drasule and the Nimbus Mysteries, can be found on Amazon.

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